The Husband 1.0 operating system

INSTALLING HUSBAND!!! 
A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded fromBoyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly underBoyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as:Romance 9.5 andPersonal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0,   MONEY 3.0  andCRICKET 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried runningNagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. 
What can I do?
Signed,
_______ _________ _________ ____ _________ _________ 
Reply 

DEAR Madam, 
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, whileHusband 1.0 is an operating system. 

Please enter command:ithoughtyoulovedme. Html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0update. 
If that application works as designed,Husband1.0should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2..0 andFlowers 3.5.. 

However, remember, overuse of the above application can causeHusband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1. 
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download theSnoring Loudly Beta. 

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) 

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0program. These are unsupported applications and will crashHusband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. 
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. 
We recommend: Cooking 3.0 andGood Looks 7.7. 
Good Luck Madam! 

zaftig defined

zaftig |ˈzäftig; -tik| (also zoftig)
adjective informal
(of a woman) having a full, rounded figure; plump.
ORIGIN 1930s: Yiddish, from German saftig ‘juicy.’

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